Back to Movie Reviews A Mighty Heart Reviewed by Skeeter "Hot-n-Crazy" Monroe A Mighty Heart (2007) Starring: Angelina Jolie, Dan Futterman, Irrfan Khan, Adnan Sidiqqi, Alyy Khan Directed By: Michael Winterbottom Run Time: 1 hour, 48 minutes              Rating: R   I woke up from my refrigerator box last night to a big racket. A bunch of college kids and grannies was picking through my usual dumpster out behind Real Original Famous Rays, where I get my dinner.   I told them kids to clear off, but they wouldn't budge. They offered me some brie cheese they got at another dumpster my buddy Lockjaw uses. Then I remembered Lockjaw told me some dumpster pirates had come his way too! Quick as a wink, I was hooting and hollering "Skeedadle, you pirates!" and swinging my pitchfork.   They said "We ain't pirates, we're Friedkins!"   "What in the hell is a Friedkin," I said.   "Not Friedkins! Freegans," they shouted.     I said, "I don't care what you are, this is my dumpster, you draft dodgers! Now beat it!" One of 'em ran so fast, she came out of her shoes.   So I traded in the shoes at the Salvation Army. Turns out they was some kind of designer clogs and they gave me some good scratch for 'em, so I bought me a Butterfinger and a Dr. Pepper, which I mixed up with some Dewars and Murphy's Oil Soap and pretty soon, I was feeling pretty good so I went to the movies.   I seen "A Mighty Heart" starring some pretty girl with real frizzy hair who looked kinda like Jon Voight. It was about a writer who got kidnapped by Saddam Hussein's cousin, Chemical Ali. Well, this writer, he paid the ultimate price for dedication to his work—losing a beautiful woman with a funny accent, even if she does have frizzy hair and look like the gay from "Midnight Cowboy."     I'm real dedicated to my work too. 'Cept when I can't write for all the scratching and groaning I do in the diamond district, or down by the tracks, or under the overpass. When I ain't wrapped up in all that or in the county lock-up, or storing my urine and feces in Coke bottles, I like to write me some too. Like this review!   Well, that Saddam's cousin is a real nasty cuss who cut a man's head off with a can opener, just like they done to my pal Skittles in Vietnam. But it wasn't his head, and it wasn't a can opener, and it was only his pinky, and it wasn't nobody that cut it off but himself, 'cuz he was drinking too many Utica Clubs before he tried to make that Roy Acuff bust on his band saw.  So then I got to singing some Roy Acuff songs 'cause I was feeling so lonesome and ornery without Skittles.   Anyhow, that ain't' no way to treat a man who writes and has a pretty wife with frizzy hair, so I gives his movie one out of five.       Back to Movie Reviews   Comments?